Missions and Dates for the HMS DAVID/SHELBY


START LOG:012811

Lizard Hemingway, 3rd Memories and Recall Division. (L-Hemingway 3rd M&I)

The L designation is silly, as we are ALL lizards here. Sheesh.

To help put the refit into perspective, here’s a short summary of ports and missions up to the present.

1970 -84 Georgia Regions

Mission: Run into things, make noise, test damage control. Upload base education protocols and databases. Learnt to spehl.

1985-90 Germany

Mission: Run into Jill class Ships and discover they make noise. Puberty Endocrine overhaul with the ship going through many wild changes. Discover fantasy simulations (RPGs) Food / Fuel has a field-day eating Bratwurst. Update education data and live in Europe happily. Record Flock of Seagulls songs. Err, Song.

1990-1994 AGE: Texas/ -Redacted-

Mission: Leave Mothership and primary Home port. Finish adult refitting and make contact with Jack Class HMS SAM who will become oldest friend. Other actions redacted.

1994-2001 Texas

Mission: Meet a friendly Jill class ship and begin relationship.

Ship begins part time costuming work as a hobby. This will become a popular diversion.

2001-2003 Texas

Mission: After 7 years enter into an official Fleet creation contract, or Marriage as you humans call them, this however was short lived. After 2.5 years the fleet fails due to grievous actions and all assets are divided and sold. HMS DAVID leaves Texas for points north.

L.Hemingway[Commentary: That’s a very clean way of putting it. The entire crew of the HMS DAVID would have been better listed as Jack-ass class during the ’94 to 03 operations. Due to depressed functioning in the Ship’s firmware, the Aggression and Fear depts had a heyday. The gender anomaly in the firmware is isolated in 2010, but more on that later.]

2003-2006 Kansas / Pennsylvania

Mission: Rebuild core emotions and run a full mental diagnostic. Something was wrong but nothing was making sense. The ship is reclassified as first Gay, then Bi but while this seemed more accurate, still wasn’t matching the protocols we could find. The Conformity divisions have frothing fits but are shouted down and told to go study fashion. They are surprisingly better at it now.

2006-2010 Pennsylvania

Mission: After settling into a more stable place the DAVID moves to Philly with Jill class ships HMS JESS, and HMS HILLY. The 3 ships operates in one house  until late 2009 when corporation is reorganized amicably when HMS HILLY and HMS DAVID move to Midwest region and continue education uploads.

2010-Present Pennsylvania / Illinois

Mission: Return to school for Education upload and Core Firmware retrofitting at DePaul University.

*EVENT* The bug in the ship’s base Firmware is tracked down. Suddenly it is clear that the Male/Jack classification is not supported. The ship’s original Female/Jill class protocols had been sabotaged and over written as early as 1977 by Social Conformity division to avoid conflict or damage.

Oct 21, 2010 – The Jill Class revolution.

The DAVID’s lizard crew begin outright civil warfare over protocols and definitions. HMS DAVID volunteers to visit Mental and Physical shipyards where deep self diagnostics are run by professional Medical ships. Eventually it is determined that the original JILL class protocols have precedence and had been hidden by well meaning but deluded Conformity crews.  The ship begins complete retrofitting into Jill class superstructure. This transition is called the Shift-Change.

HMS HILLY and HMS DAVID announce Fleet Incorporation intent(Wedding) after the gender Shift Change is mandated. Combining the two seeming disparate actions causes chaos in Social Conformity division. Gender re-writing followed by a dual Jill -class wedding trips so many anti-conformity alarms many of the SocialConf lizards explode. Those that remain just whine  alot, as their Guilt Stockpile has been disarmed.

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