Select Lizard Crew and Jobs

STARTLOG: 020311

Due to inclement weather the ship is docked for at least a day or so, restricted to the dockyards and running various productivity exercises. So now is a good time to introduce the main command crew, or most of it.

L-Hemingway [Commentary] This isn’t all the notable crew but they are a good start. It should be noted that there is no true captain of HMS vessels, it’s run by a real time voting system whose complexities are completely indecipherable, the Commander is a rotating crewman who sits in the BIG CHAIR and collects all data and votes and issues orders based on weighted values. It can be quite bizarre at times. I have never gotten to sit in the big chair. Doesn’t bother me though. Looks uncomfortable.

L-Hemingway. (Historian 3rd M&I. Memory and Interpretation.)

Me. Nothing to noteworthy here, I am the liaison between this log and the Memory and Interpretation division. When I’m not recording the ships actions and history here I am usually down in main memory with the grunt work folks recording input and sending them out into the Cortex warehouse to be stored. I steer clear of most problems, I’m just a reporter is all



No one is sure where this Lizard comes from. He is held in the Amygdala Detention level most of the time but manages to continuously escape. Each time he escapes he makes a direct run for the bridge. If L-Harry makes it there he will issue an order in a very calm voice. The orders have included, but are not limited to: “Hey, steer into oncoming traffic, airbags are made for this!” or “See that big dude on the Harley Davidson? Go slap him in the mouth, go on!” and his favorite when near any drop off. “I bet we can TO fly. I bet you!” L-Harry is has been stopped 99.9% of the time by the ever neurotic L-Larry. They are arch enemies. And why we keep Larry around.

L-Larry (Self preservation Police-Special Assignment “Harry Watch”

Oh this guy. Larry is a Self Preservation specialist who takes his job a bit too seriously. His risk assessment runs at 150% all the time and he is generally terrified of everything. The retrofitting is making him insane by the way.

See Larry is the Lizard who, when the ship is approaching a pedestrian crosswalk, starts screaming “Oh god, lookout for the Ferraris, they are too fast! we’d never see them! They could hit us, we could fall, break something, then it would get infected, and it would swell up and get gangrene and that would attract city coyotes and they would EAT US!” He is not well. Never has been but he has to stay on the bridge in case L-Harry shows up.

L-Renfeld.(Director of Imagination and Simulation)

Renfeld is crazy. Sometimes brilliant, sometimes insane but never boring. Renfeld uses the memory cards down in the Cortex warehouse to randomly builds things for entertainment and simulations. He does most of his work on the night shift during the REM cycle. He is sometimes called in by the Cognition dept. to help with difficult problems as he has a talent of seeing things differently. Often however it’s WAY to differently. His favorite clothing is Jello and his favorite color is Platypus.

L-Jack, L-Allen (Upper Motor Drives and Manipulation)

These are drivers of the left and right arms-hand manipulators respectively. They are straight forward blue collar kinda lizards but seem to have an odd sense of humor at times. They will sometimes start conversing externally through pantomime just for kicks and both have been reprimanded for being lewd to other ships with puppets or hand signs. Weird guys.

L-Food. (Food-Fuel Specialist.)

This guy is straight forward. He is crammed behind his control panel at the back of the bridge and just pushes his one big red button whenever the food-fuel levels get low. He does this over and over until food-fuel is loaded or a state of hunger-anger (Hangry) is achieved. No one likes turning around to see him when he is Hangry. we don’t like him when he is Hangry.

L-Hemingway[Commentary] There will be more info on these members of the crew, and the more recent travels of the ship soon. Thanks for reading.


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